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great expectations of a dancing fool

September 9, 2008

I love to dance almost any kind of dance.  There are few dances that I refuse to partake in – line dancing (I have creative issues with ), freak dancing (I don’t even consider this dancing.) to name a few.

This weekend I got to dance twice: on Friday just for fun and on Sunday for the performance.  I know – I’m supposed to take it easy because of the plantar fasciitis that has been ailing me the last several weeks and landed me on crutches for one of those weeks, but the music called to me.  I hadn’t planned on dancing all night long, but my friend, Levi, who is a great dancer and his brother, Gustavo, showed up.  I was not going to pass up dancing when there were willing dance partners!  And my foot was fine – I stretched and iced when I got home.

Sunday was even better, though there was a point when I wasn’t so sure.  I woke up to rain – not the best outlook for an outdoor performance.  I checked the weather online and it looked like it would clear up.  Mass was amazing.  I prayed for the performance, dedicating it to the Blessed Mother.  I couldn’t help but think what a holy and amazing experience it would be.  And then I went home to get ready.

My hair started being temperamental.  I couldn’t find anything comfortable to wear to the festival.  I thought I kept all my dance stuff together but ended up running around the apartment collecting things.  Then I had to go to my parents’ house to fix Rita’s hair, whose hair was also being difficult, and apply her eye makeup.

When we finally got downtown, Rita and I found out that we were actually early.  Our performance time had been changed but we hadn’t been notified.  With our extra time, we walked over to Starbucks hoping to calm our frazzled nerves, but I was still fidgety and frustrated.  Nothing was turning out the way I expected.

My expectations for life tend to be rather general.  I try to stay away from specific expectations so as not to incur too much disappointment if things don’t play out just so.  I strive to pray with expectant faith, trusting that God will answer all my prayers – though when and how are entirely up to Him.  The every day expectations are the ones that throw me off, more so than the large, life-impacting expectations.  For some reason I had a lot of expectations regarding Sunday’s performance.

As we walked back to the festival, I prayed for peace.  So what if my hair didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to?  It looked fine and even though it felt like it was fall out of the bun, I knew it was secure.  So what if I felt awkward?  I prayed that God would be glorified through my performance.  So what if the audience wasn’t huge?  There was still a good turn out for a Sunday afternoon.

I put my expectations aside and let the Lord handle things.  We had a great performance, in spite of the wind.  I savored dancing in the shadow of the Calder.  It didn’t matter that things didn’t play out as I expected, what mattered is that I let God lead while I enjoyed the rest of the dance.

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