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frequently asked questions

January 20, 2009

Do you ever find yourself answering different versions of the same question?  I often do.  Sometimes it’s because people are nosy, but usually it’s because the questioner is intrigued by a comment I make or an observation and he/she would like clarification.

Take for instance the question: Why are you single?  This one comes in many forms (listed below) and is asked by a variety of people.  It often leads to other questions or comments (also listed below).  I don’t know what it is about being single that gives others the freedom to discuss said single person’s personal life.  I do realize that many people ask me about my relationship status because they genuinely care for me and are showing it by taking an interest in my life.  Still, answering these questions gets tedious:
Question  – Are you married yet?
Answer  – No

Question – Why are you still single?
Answer – Because I haven’t met the “right guy.”

Question – Do you want to get married?
Answer – Of course.

Question – What’s wrong with guys these days?
Answer – I have no idea.

Question – Aren’t you worried that you will never get married?
Answer – Not at all.  A little anxious sometimes, but not worried.

Comment  – I just don’t understand why a nice girl like you hasn’t been snatched up yet.
Response  – All in God’s time.  (Honestly, the thought of being “snatched up” doesn’t sound very appealing.  Whatever happened to sweeping a girl off her feet?)

Being a single Catholic woman in my late twenties, the next one usually shows up in conversation:
Question – Have you ever thought that God might be calling you to be a nun?
Answer – Yes, but I discerned my vocation years ago and I know without a doubt that God is calling me to the vocation of marriage.  It’s a long story that spans a few years and involved a lot of prayer and a dozen yellow roses.

Rather than get annoyed at people throwing my age and singleness in my face, I use the opportunity to share about ‘waiting in joyful hope’.  This usually leads to:
Question – Do you enjoy being single?
Answer – Yes (I will go into this more in the next installment of FAQ)

But the overall answer to why I am single is very simple: It is not God’s will that I marry… yet.  I do my best to live the life God has for me.  This means I am on His timeline, not mine or my parents or the society’s.  It’s not always easy and I often don’t understand why but I am content to wait in joyful hope.  I am not worried about never marrying (I have my parents to do that for me): I am confident that God will fulfill His promise in His fullness of time.  And so I wait in joyful hope!

In my next “Frequently Asked Questions” post, I’ll cover the last question: Do you enjoy being single?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. delores botello-bernal permalink
    January 20, 2009 9:11 pm

    im proud of u for standing up for what you belive in!! and you are still young!!!

  2. mariangrace permalink
    January 22, 2009 11:29 pm

    You should write a book about this. I think in the Christian/Catholic society if you are a twenty something, (exp. in the later years of a twenty something )and single it is frowned upon. I hope I will never develop this attitude one day.

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