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false accusations

January 26, 2009

Last week, I found myself in the middle of a little drama due to several false accusations.  How I got dragged into the mess was beyond me, but there I was.  Events were blown out of proportion, words were taken out of context and assigned to others, malicious schemes were invented, and all four parties felt frustrated, hurt, confused and betrayed.

The accusations leveled against me were pretty harsh, but I was confident of my innocence.  Well, I was pretty sure I was innocent.  My accuser sent a couple of vague emails, and I didn’t actually know what I was being accused of for several days.  There was a part of me that wanted to over-analyze over my actions, words and thoughts surrounding the situation to ensure the charges were unfounded.  The other part of me simply surrendered the situation to Christ.  After all, He too was falsely accused.  I prayed all week that I would 1) be able to forgive my accusers, 2) not lose my temper since it would worsen the situation, and 3) have the opportunity to defend myself.  God gave me the necessary grace to carry my cross with dignity.  He answered all of my prayers and the situation is done (at least for me).

The sting of being harshly treated still lingers, as does the unanswered question of “Why me?”  Was I an easy target?  Perhaps they saw me as a scapegoat, but what did I ever do to be on the receiving end of such callous disdain?

The hurt and pain will lessen with time, even if my questions go unanswered.  I know I don’t need answers.  Last week was not easy, but I was able to embrace the moment and stay with the pain.  “Every moment holds a promise”(1), and that makes the pain worthwhile.  Besides, I was shouldering the burden with a friend who was the other party under attack.  As much as I try to avoid drama, I’m glad my friend didn’t have to suffer alone.

(1) The Spirituality of Waiting, Fr. Henri Nouwen

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