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faq: do you enjoy being single?

February 27, 2009

I watched many chick-flicks in my teens and early twenties.  Somewhere around my mid-twenties, I began to shun the romantic, feel-good movies.  Some might say I was becoming a bitter spinster and couldn’t stand watching them, but not wanting to become a bitter spinster is what made me distance myself from the often times unrealistic portrayal of relationships.

Chick-flicks set in modern day paint a rather romantic view of the main characters life as a single woman: the cute apartment, the job or hobby to which she is devoted, the circle of friends, the favorite coffee shop, etc.  I can remember watching these characters thinking how glorious it would be to live above a store in the middle of a big city or to walk to the market and come home with a paper bag full of produce and dry cleaning that was picked up on the way.  The romantic in me can make the most menial task exciting – it is a blessing and a curse.

I know reality is far from what movies reflect, but life is what one makes of it.  And my life is grand!  It is not perfect; it is not easy; and it is not what I expected it to be, but I am grateful for all that I have.

Are you seeing how this ties into the next frequently asked question of whether or not I enjoy being single?  My circumstances may not be what I wish them to be but I’ve learned to make do with what I have.  I knew if I didn’t learn to be content as a single woman, I would never find contentment in marriage.  So, yes – I enjoy being single.  As I said earlier, I was and am determined not to fall into the bitter spinster trap.  I decided I wasn’t going to wait until I was dating or married to live my life: I was going to live it to the full no matter what my relationship status was!

Thus began my journey of learning to live in the present moment.  Fr. Henri Nouwen’s The Spirituality of Waiting was immensely helpful in taking on this challenge.  Fr. Nouwen spoke of hope.  Realizing that the moment is holding a promise that will be revealed in time gave waiting a whole new dimension.  I was also reminded that life is happening NOW, not tomorrow or next week – NOW!  Fr. Nouwen said, “If life’s not happening now, why would it happen tomorrow?  If it’s not happening now, it’s not happening EVER!”  Living my life as it happens now has given me a joy and freedom I never expected.

I am waiting in joyful hope and enjoying every minute of it!  My life is blessed and full.  I have everything this single woman could ever want, except a husband (Although, if I had a husband I would no longer be single and my wants wouldn’t fall under “single woman” anymore).

The overall answer: Yes, but not just life as a single woman: I enjoy LIFE!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. John permalink
    March 17, 2009 4:36 pm

    While I hope that you realize that answering is completely optional I hope to better understand your last entry with the answer to this question.
    Are these 2 entries as well as the entry I am commenting on very related? The relations are not glaring but not subtle either.


    • March 18, 2009 1:29 pm

      Yes, John. They are related. They are all different aspects of single life. I do my best to “laugh at the days to come” but I am by no means perfect. I try to embrace the pros and cons of all situations. All of these somewhat related posts give a well-rounded view of my reality.

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