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o vanity of vanities

June 15, 2009

I teased my cousin, C2, last Thursday for being a ‘sun snob’.  The day was overcast so she decided to stay in for lunch.  During our seasons of warm weather, C2 and I eat lunch outside at the Circle.  The fresh air and sunshine is a nice break from the recycled air and florescent lights of the office.

The sun was out on Friday, so we met at the Circle.  I arrived first and found a place to sit on one of the ledges that surrounds the amphitheater.  I chose a shaded area because I didn’t put sun block on.  I didn’t want to burn or get a weird tan line.  I pulled out a book and enjoyed reading and people-watching as I waited for C2.

I saw something fall from the tree under which I sat and felt it land on my head.  I fluffed my hair near my neck, figuring it was a leaf or a cluster of seeds and would fall out.

C2 finally arrived.  We blessed our food and began feasting.  There was a slight breeze that blew my dark tresses in my face.  I ran my fingers through my hair to put everything back where it belonged, and I felt something wet.  I should have known.  It wasn’t a leaf or a cluster of seeds.  A bird pooped on my head.  I was mortified!  And I had forgotten napkins!  Thankfully, C2 gave me hers, and we were able to get most of it out.  Of course, I ended up looking like a lop-sided skunk once it dried.  I was able to get most of it out of my hair when I eventually made it back to the office.

Me and my vanity!!  I sat under the tree to keep from getting a weird tan and ended up getting bird poo in my hair!  There were people sitting behind me, but not one was gracious enough to say anything!  I’m sure they got a good laugh watching some bird leave its mark on the unsuspecting girl sitting below.  At least I was able to bring amusement into people’s lives, even if it was just my dad, who laughed for a good ten minutes when I told him what happened.

It was a lesson in humility, that’s for sure.  C2 will be glad: I’ve sworn off sitting under trees.  Next time we meet for lunch, I’ll find the sunniest spot.  The sun snob will be able to soak up as much sun as she wants, and I’ll be protected from any more bird encounters.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Cristin Luea permalink
    June 16, 2009 3:42 pm

    GROSSSSSS!!! At least it didn’t poop in your mouth (ask Michelle Gallic about that one!!)

  2. Charles permalink
    June 18, 2009 10:54 pm

    This is the second time!! remember when the bird shat on your head and oozed down your glasses, we were walking to Fulton Heights (back when it was Fulton Heights). You were mortified!

  3. Rosario permalink
    June 19, 2009 4:58 am

    HaHaHaHaHaaaa… I remember that too!!! It was sooo funny! Seems you have a way with birds! ;) All the pooping and the one that fell at your feet! You bird whisperer, you!

  4. June 19, 2009 6:34 am

    You just HAD to bring that up, didn’t you?! What a punk!! “Thanks for bringing up such a painful memory. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it!”

    That time was much more mortifying than this last incident.

  5. Katherine permalink
    June 19, 2009 3:58 pm

    What out for sunny spots too. The only time I have been pooped on (by a bird) was in a parking lot in West Palm in August. It was freakin’ hot and not a stinkin’ cloud in the sky. Poop landed on my head and slide down my face into my eye! YUCK-O-RAMA!!!

  6. Felipa permalink
    June 21, 2009 7:59 am

    WOW!! This must be a Schwartz thing!!

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