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suffering united

July 17, 2009

I had a rough day, emotionally speaking, earlier this week.  I was on the phone with poor Danny, who was giving me Rose’s daily progress report, when I finally broke down in tears. 

“I’m sorry,” I said between sobs.  “I can’t help it.  I love hearing about Rose’s progress and the things you all are doing for her, but I want to be there.  I want to be the one to help her out of bed and to take her for walks.  I want to be there so bad it hurts!”

Danny graciously let me continue.  “I’m not saying you guys are doing a bad job – you are doing a great job – but you’re not me!  I know I need to give you and Rose’s other friends the opportunity to serve her, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me.  It’s so hard being far away when I know my sister needs me.”

Danny let me go on for a while before offering words of wisdom.  He sympathized with me but also reminded me to unite my suffering with that of our Blessed Mother, who had to watch her Son, Jesus Christ, during His passion.  “Think of how hard it must have been for her,” Danny said, “not to be able to run to her Son and comfort Him when He was in agony.  Think of how hard this is for your parents, too.  I know you love your sister, and it’s hard not being by her side, but look to our Mother Mary for comfort.”

And so I have.  All week, I’ve contemplated this particular aspect of Mary’s suffering, which I had not considered before.

I can’t begin to imagine the aching of Mary’s heart as she saw her beloved Child and Savior in such intense pain as He walked the Way of the Cross.  It’s been hard enough watching my sister recover from her injuries.  How Mary must have wanted to hold Him close and patch His wounds!  But she selflessly allowed others to serve Jesus, knowing the impact it would have on them and on the world.  I can’t see the Blessed Mother looking at Veronica and thinking jealously that Mary herself should have been the one to wipe Christ’s face, not some stranger.  As much as our Mother would have wanted to be right there to wipe Jesus’ face or to ease the weight of the cross, she remained at a distance.  It was time to let others come out of themselves and serve her Son.  She was, I am sure, grateful for their response to Christ’s suffering: Veronica wiping His precious face, Simon carrying the cross, and even the women weeping.

I, too, am grateful for Rose’s friends and all that they are doing to care for her in the family’s stead.  I know this is a time of growth and unity for those who are serving my sister in her recovery.  It doesn’t make it easier, but being able to relate to a tiny drop in the vast sea of Mary’s suffering does bring comfort.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Safety Guy permalink
    July 17, 2009 6:40 pm

    It has been a tough week. I too, want to be with Rose. In the week I slept in her hospital room caring for her, we experienced a closeness of father and daughter, the quality of which perhaps not felt since she was a little girl–dependent on her dad–confident that daddy would catch her when he threw her up in the air.

    I didn’t–don’t want that to end. Yet, I too had to leave her to the care of others–throwing her up in the air–confident that they will catch her.

    Letting go and letting God.

    Dad

  2. Felipa Schwartz permalink
    July 17, 2009 8:35 pm

    You know I feel the same way. I cry on my way to work, but I do find comfort in praying the rosary its hard but I do pray it. And since I met her friends and know they are taking good care of her I do feel a little better. But I do have to keep telling my self, Let Go and Let God. After all she is my baby! I don’t care how old she is!!

  3. July 17, 2009 9:20 pm

    I know this has to be hard on you all. You are such a beautiful, close knit family. My heart aches with you all. Good to reflect on Mary, Ce. As far as Mike catching his kids, I seem to remember him dropping some of you kids. I think it was mostly Charles though!
    Love,
    Aunt Sylvia

  4. Ron Beard permalink
    July 21, 2009 1:02 am

    Hi Cecilia, this is Ron from the Amway Grand Plaza. I have been praying for your sister Rose, you, and your family. I hope she is doing much better. I hope you and your family is finding the strength you need. God is always in control no matter what. I pray grace and peace for you all.

    Ron

  5. Cristin Luea permalink
    July 24, 2009 10:58 am

    Good job to look at it through Mary’s eyes. Praying for you, sister!

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  1. joyous celebrations « she laughs at the days to come
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