the great crap discourse
I realize it has been about three and a half months since the incident that nearly took my sister’s life and I have not done a good job of keeping this blog updated on her condition. I haven’t neglected my duties altogether, but all of my updates for Rosario have been posted on her Carepage. Rosario has also started a blog to chronicle her journey, and included all of the carepage posts so she has a complete history (a link can be found in the sidebar).
Lately, I’ve been kicking myself for not taking more photos of Roario and her friends in the hospital. At the time, she said she didn’t want any pictures taken of her, but now she wishes she had some to document those first few days and I wish I hadn’t listened to her request. Oh well! At least we have the posts from Carepages as well as our memories. Here is one that I’ve been meaning to post since I got home from LA:
The first week after my sister’s surgery, we were amazed at her clarity of mind. People kept warning us that she was on heavy pain meds and might say things she normally wouldn’t say. But she never really said anything out of the ordinary. Come to find out, she remembers very little of that week. Still she seemed very lucid at the time. Except for one afternoon…
I had sent my parents down to the cafeteria for lunch. I stayed back to sit with Rosario while she slept. I had my laptop and the hospital’s wireless to keep me company, but after a while, Rose woke up. I put my computer away and she moved over so I could sit at the edge of the bed. We chatted a little before I got the opportunity I had been waiting for. I gently asked my sister how she was handling the mental aspect of the accident.
“You know…” she started, “here’s how I see it: God gives all of us crap to deal with… sometimes it’s good crap and sometimes it’s bad crap… we just have to deal with whatever crap we have. Sometimes it’s just too much crap for us to deal with and we have to give it to Jesus and say ‘Jesus, I can’t deal with this crap so I’m giving this crap to you. This is your crap now.’ And then it’s Jesus’ crap and he takes care of it… but sometimes we have just have to deal with the crap ourselves and God will help us deal with the crap…”
She went on for a good five minutes about the good crap and the bad crap we deal with in life. I wish I had recorded it! I had to get off the bed because I was shaking so hard trying not to laugh and I didn’t want to hurt Rosario. I understood what she was trying to say, but my sister is usually more eloquent.
Soon, Mom and Dad came back from lunch, and they brought Danny back with them. We had a good laugh when I told them about Rosario’s philosophical insight. Danny started referring to it as ‘The Great Crap Discourse’. Of course, I waited until after Rosario was released from the hospital to tell her about it.
Shortly after I shared the story with Rosario, Danny read her a reflection I had written. “That’s not fair!” Rosario cried. “Cecilia’s all eloquent and deep and here I am giving discourses on crap!”