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queen of push-ups & derringers – part II

January 12, 2010

continued from Part I…

“Can I help you with that, Cecilia?” my dad asked.  I certainly looked like I needed help that random afternoon last spring.  I had taken my laundry to my parents’ house and was headed back home when Dad asked if he could help.

“I’ve got everything balanced, Dad.” I had a couple of bags on each shoulder and my laundry basket on one hip.  I don’t usually turn down help, but I wanted to make sure I could take everything in one trip once I got home.  Besides, I knew if even one item was removed I would have toppled to one side or the other.

“Are you sure?” Dad was rather skeptical.

“Yup!” I said, between my labored breathing.  “Don’t worry, Dad.  These guns can handle it!”

“Those Derringers?  Are you kidding me?!” Dad burst out laughing, while I just stood there.

Finally, I said, “What’s so funny?  I don’t get it.”

“You don’t know what a Derringer is?”

“No…” I shifted my weight, trying to stay balanced.

“It’s one of those tiny, one-shot pistols.”

I’ll be honest with you, reader.  It took a minute before I realized that my dad was mocking my “guns”.

“I don’t think that’s very funny, Dad!”

“Oh, but it is!” Dad was almost crying as he laughed at his own joke.

I had to put my stuff down because I realized I had forgotten something.  My brother, Jeffrey, wandered into the living room as I started my balancing act once again.

“Dude Celia, you need help?” Jeffrey asked.

“Maybe with the door…” I grunted.

Dad grinned, “Can’t your Derringers handle it?”  Jeffrey looked at him confused, so Dad explained, “She said her guns could take the weight, and I said ‘not with those Derringers!’”

Jeffrey doubled over.  “See,” Dad cried, “it is funny!  Jeffrey gets it!  I had to explain it to her, Jeff!  She didn’t know what a Derringer was!”

I finally had to put my stuff down because they were laughing so hard neither one could open the door for me.  The Derringers were getting tired.  I defended my derringers as best I could, and that is how my arms officially became known as “The Derringers”.

You may ask, reader, why I am relating this information to you and what relevance it currently has.  You will read the answer in Part III…

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jeff Schwartz permalink
    January 15, 2010 2:01 pm

    I remember that, it was hilarious!!! Dude I don’t remember saying dude. Dude I really don’t use that word…..Dude.

    • January 15, 2010 5:14 pm

      It may not be a word you use a lot, but for some reason that’s how you say my name. :) I’m just sayin’…

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