responsiblity of laughter
I have been a bit stressed the last few weeks, with plans to be figured out, decisions to be made and organizing to oversee. I actually have very little control over any of the above, but I still feel responsible for all of it.
I’ve always been the peacemaker in my family. That not only means resolving conflicts, it also means I feel responsible for everyone’s peace of mind. I have a tendency to take on other’s concerns, worries and any other discontentments in an attempt to fix the problem(s). Sometimes I am able to help, but most of the time I let myself get overwhelmed. In these moments, I find myself dreading the days to come instead of laughing at them.
I went to morning mass on the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. I actually didn’t want to be there. Everything in me wanted to go back home. I didn’t feel good; I was tired; and I was a little cranky because I didn’t make it in time for confession which had been my main motivation for getting up extra early. But I stayed. The gospel, in celebration of Our Lady’s feast day, recounted the story of the wedding feast at Cana. I listened intently to the story I had heard countless times before.
Later, I was reminded by a couple of people that I need to let go of the situations I feel responsible for and give them to the Lord. The words from the gospel came to mind, and I thought about how Mary took responsibility of the situation. She saw a need and took it upon herself to inform her Son. After He replies “What would you have me do? My hour is not yet come”, she again takes it upon herself to tell the servants “Do whatever He tells you.” And she leaves the matter in the capable hands of her Son. She doesn’t stress about how it will get done and when it will get done. She simply surrenders and trusts.
I too must follow the example of our Blessed Mother. I can accept the responsibility of presenting to Christ the needs and concerns of my family and friends and trust that He will do whatever is necessary. With that, I realize I need to follow the example of the servants and “do whatever He tells me”. I’m not going to fix the problem at hand, but I have to be ready and willing to follow my Lord’s instructions.
Well, reader, this was all review. I know I can’t be responsible for the happiness and peace of mind of others. I know I need to surrender all situations to the Lord. I know all of this but I had lost sight of it. The review was greatly needed.
I had already placed my concerns at the foot of the cross when I was at mass, and I continued to give them to the Lord throughout the day. Reader, I had a fabulous day! It was the best one I’ve had in a while. It was productive and full of joy. I was able to enjoy the present moment while laughing at the days to come! Of course, spending the evening with the family comedian helped, too!
I know I have certain responsibilities but I can’t be responsible for everything and everyone. It is not easy giving that up, but it certainly has been freeing. I think I’ll enjoy focusing on my responsiblity of continuing to clothe myself in “strength and dignity and to laugh at the days to come”. (Prov. 31:25)