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life according to the what-ifs

July 19, 2010
“I haven’t lived my life according to the what-ifs up to this point,” a 30 year-old single friend said to me over breakfast a couple of weeks ago.  She was in the process of buying a condo and was sharing the what-ifs that were thrown her way: “What if you meet a guy tomorrow or next week who already has a condo.  If you fall in love and get married, you’ll be stuck with two!”  There were a few others, most of which all came back to “What if you meet the guy?”

“I just can’t make decisions based on hypothetical scenarios!  If that does happen,” my friend said, “then I’ll let God take care of those details.”  She shook her head, exasperated. “But I’m not going to let myself get hung up on that kind of what-if.  I would have missed out on most of my life if I had done that!  Besides, I prayed that God would close the doors on this condo deal if it wasn’t His will.  He hasn’t so far.”  I wanted to stand up and cheer!  I was convicted and inspired by my friend’s boldness and trust in God.

I had a major revelation a few weeks prior to that conversation regarding the what-ifs in my life.  I never wanted to be the kind of single woman who sits at home and twiddles her thumbs while waiting for a knight in shining armor to charge in, and while I may not be doing exactly that, neither am I living with boldness, courage and confidence.

I hate to admit it, but for all my good intentions, I’ve let myself stay within my comfort zone, rarely venturing out.  I’ve allowed the what-ifs to cloud my judgment and decision making.  Perhaps not in obvious ways, but I have.  Oh sure, I’ve taken some risks here and there and I live a decently active life, but overall it’s been a cautious and timid existence, and I missed out on many amazing opportunities because of it.

With this incredible new insight, inspired by my friend’s boldness and my thirty-first birthday just over a week away, I am determined to no longer live my life according to the what-ifs.  I know it won’t be easy – even as I type this my resolve is being tested – but I also know God will give me the grace I need for all of my current and future adventures.

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