a talented klutz
I really hate being a klutz. Take this morning, for instance. My coffee sloshed all over the counter when I almost knocked over my travel mug; I nearly gave myself a concussion walking into the closed bathroom door (thankfully I stopped just before impact); and I hit my elbow on a cabinet door. What can I say? Those are typical klutz moments that keep my guardian angel busy. But the prize-winning klutz moment happened on Saturday.
My sisters and I were on the other side of the state to help my cousin and her family move. I can almost hear you groaning, Reader, as you think of all the possible scenarios a talented klutz such as myself could get into during the chaos of moving. But being a talented klutz doesn’t always mean being the cause of a huge, dramatic, domino-effect mess. Instead, the talent lies in the improbability that an abnormal outcome could result from a common event, like getting into a car. Besides, getting injured during a big move doesn’t sound all that random, but my injury is.
I was tired on Saturday evening when Rosario, Angelica and I said our good-byes and headed to the car, but not too tired to drive two hours home. I don’t know how it happened but somehow when I got in the car I banged my knee against the side of the console that juts out between the steering wheel and the hinge of the door. The common act of jumping into the driver’s seat, something I do countless times a week, produced an improbable outcome: an injured knee.
The improbability comes from the fact that I am short. I don’t have long legs that are constantly running away from me or banging into things. I wasn’t standing at an odd angle (or at least I don’t think I was…). Nothing seemed awkward or out-of-the-ordinary with the way I started to get into the car. And yet my knee managed to find and collide with a small out-of-the-way area. I can’t figure out how that happened! Readers, that is where the talent comes in! Either that or I must have momentarily channeled the stretching superpower of Mrs. Incredible for my leg to have reached that spot.
Anyway, I was amazed at the immediate and subsequent pain as a large goose egg emerged just below my kneecap. I iced it as soon as I got home, but it was still swollen and stiff the next day. Thankfully I have a lot of klutz injury tricks up my sleeve. I woke up to minimal pain today thanks to the curing combo of Epsom salt and mango sorbetto. (I wrapped my knee in an Epsom salt water soaked cloth and ate the sorbetto.)
Even with the pretend perks, I don’t like being klutzy. (I’m sure I can find many other reasons to comfort myself with mango sorbetto.) It’s exhausting! (Remember my adventurous morning?) But I suppose if I’m going to be a klutz, I might as well be a talented one. And if Saturday’s escapade proves anything, it’s that this klutz has some serious talent!