divine conversations of a single woman
Before the start of Holy Week, I was reminded of a conversation I had with the Lord around the time I turned thirty when one of my favorite bloggers posed a question to her readers through the following scenario:
What if an angel appeared before you and told you you would marry the perfect man for you, guaranteed?
Angel: When you’re 51.
She outlined what the rest of that conversation might sound like and then asked her main question: So, poppets, imagine you are for sure getting married at 51. It will be a blow-out wedding. Your spouse will be the handsomest man you have ever clapped eyes on, etc. How are you going to spend your Single life?
The conversation I had was slightly different:
Me: Um, so I’m about to turn thirty, God. Remember way back when I was twenty-three and you told me that you were calling me to the vocation of marriage? I think that I’ve been waiting quite patiently, but… um… what’s the status on that?
God: Don’t worry about it. “Find your delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (I love when God quotes scripture to me.)
Me: That’s it?! That’s my update on the whole marriage thing? I’ve been finding my delight in you for the past seven years. You can’t give me a timeframe on when you’re going to give me the desires of my heart?
God: Do you WANT a timeframe? Don’t you trust that I’ll keep my promise?
Me: Well… I guess I don’t NEED a timeframe… I do trust you. I know you have worked out all the details… Sigh. This is taking longer than I expected, so I just want to make sure we’re still on for the whole getting married thing.
God: Yes, we are. And I can tell you that your husband is worth the seven years’ wait and more.
Me: (excitedly) Really? Hurray!! Wait. How much more?
God: What if I said thirty years?
Me: But it’s not going to take that long, right?
God: What if it did? Would you wait?
Me: Thirty years. THIRTY YEARS! Ohmigosh! I’m not getting married until I’m SIXTY? Seriously?!
God: I didn’t say that. I’m just asking if you would trust me and wait another thirty years if I told you that’s how long it would take to meet your husband.
Me: What other choice do I have? Yes. I’d wait another thirty years if you asked me to. I might grumble about it from time to time, but You know me, I’m stubborn enough to wait that long. Are you ASKING me to wait thirty years?
God: Maybe, but don’t worry about. Trust me. “Find your delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (There he goes quoting scripture again.)
Me: So what am I supposed to do for the next “possible” thirty years?
God: What do you want to do? What do you think is the best way to find your delight in me?
Well, that is how I eventually ended up moving to New York to further my dance training. To answer Seraphic’s question: it really doesn’t matter if it takes three years or thirty, I’m going to do what I love, since that’s what God told me to do. He even quoted scripture to make sure I got the point. And as we celebrate God’s greatest promise fulfilled in Easter, I am filled with hope that God will give me the desires of my heart… somewhere within the next thirty years.