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make-yourself-happy day

October 21, 2011
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“Today is a make-yourself-happy day,” my beautiful co-worker announced as she wafted by my desk with cheerful ease. 

I grinned.  “That sounds good to me!”  I don’t know what sounded better: the actual words that were spoken or the enthusiasm with which they were said.  Whatever it was, I needed to hear both today.  I realize that happiness is more than an emotional state, but my emotional state needed a boost in that direction. 

I’ve been quick to blame my recent irritability and grouchiness on late nights, a full schedule, difficulty sleeping, etc, but in truth it is due to anxiety.  I got distracted by my incessant need to plan ahead and worked myself into an angst over five hundred sixty-two concerns that will eventually need to be addressed but will not (and cannot) be resolved anytime in the near future.  They weighed heavy on my mind and my heart, until I was entirely preoccupied with finding solutions.  No wonder I couldn’t sleep!  And no wonder I was upset: no discernible outcomes exist because the issues don’t yet exist.  I was ramming myself into a brick wall – repeatedly!  Aughhh!

I finally snapped out of it this week.  Or maybe I knocked myself unconscious on the brick wall and woke up with clarity.  Either way, I made a conscious decision to embrace the present moment.  Sure, those five hundred sixty-two concerns are still lurking in my mind, but I shoved them to the back where they belong.  I had allowed myself to become so overwhelmed that I forgot to wait on God and trust in his provision for both the present and the future; I forgot to live my life as it is now. 

I was still reeling a bit after regaining consciousness – that blasted brick bruised my pride.  But when my lovely co-worker declared today a make-yourself-happy day, I couldn’t help catching her cheerfulness and joy, and my emotional state got the boost it needed.  A glass of wine and a good night’s sleep always make me happy so I’m going to indulge a little, just to be on the safe side.

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