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adventures of c & k: east meets west

March 30, 2012

Last Saturday’s adventure took me and Karl back in time to a land far away.  Actually, we were at a friend’s apartment in SoHo, where the dancers of the 2012 Quadrille Ball were throwing an appreciation party for the Junior Committee members who worked incredibly hard to organize the performance portion of the ball, but for the sake of our adventure, we were in an imaginary town called Fort Finkel, located somewhere in the Dakotas.

Here’s the article that would have appeared in the Fort Finkel Tribune (if it were to exist) detailing Saturday’s events:

Fort Finkel was bursting at the seams with all the visitors in town for the grand opening of Doc and Dolly Holliday’s new saloon, The O.K. Carre, on Saturday night.  Folks trickled from all corners of the Dakotas for the special occasion.  Before Mayor Masterson started the ribbon cutting ceremony, Miss Mabel and her saloon girls kept everyone entertained with their high-kicking can-can.  Another pre-ceremony treat was the musical stylings of Belle Starr, accompanied by her talented musicians.

Mayor Masterson started the festivities with a few words and introduced the evening’s hosts, Doc and Dolly Holliday.  But a commotion occurred just as the Hollidays were welcoming everyone to their new establishment!  The outlaws had escaped from jail!  They pushed through the crowd, led by the feared Billy “Jazz Hands” MacGraw!  MacGraw and his posse had tied up the sheriff and were demanding justice for what they claimed were bogus charges.

The sheriff arrived on the scene and proposed to settle the matter at a later date in the court of law, but “Jazz Hands” would hear none of it.  He demanded a duel.  Sheriff Dalton accepted, but first asked the crowd if anyone had some ointment for his hands which were chaffed from working all day.   Belle Starr offered the sheriff an array of options from her line of special hand ointments.

When Sheriff Dalton was good and ready, he and Billy “Jazz Hands” MacGraw faced off.  But the ointment proved to be his demise!  The sheriff couldn’t get a grip on his gun!  MacGraw was exasperated and declared he couldn’t shoot a dandy.  He called out to the crowd and asked if there was anyone in the town brave enough to face him.

An eye-witness claims that Miss Mabel, the saloon madame, walked right up to the outlaw, put her hands on her hips, and said “I’ll face you, Billy ‘Jazz Hands’ MacGraw!”

MacGraw scoffed and that he couldn’t shoot a woman.  “Then,” continued the eye-witness, “Miss Mabel looked him up and down and said she couldn’t shoot a woman either!  She told him that she was suggesting a dance-off!”

MacGraw reminded her that they call him “Jazz Hands” for more than one reason, one being that he was the best dancer this side of the Mississippi, but Miss Mabel wasn’t phased by his antics and even offered him the chance to start off.  “Jazz Hands” refused.  “Ladies first.  I may be an outlaw, but I know etiquette!” he was quoted in saying.

They battled it out: Miss Mabel for the sake of the town and Billy “Jazz Hands” MacGraw for the sake of… well… He’s an outlaw; that’s what he does.  After a few rounds, they synchronized their fancy footwork, and the town cheered with delight.  Not only did Mayor Masterson declare a tie, he also pardoned Billy “Jazz Hands” and his outlaws of their transgressions against the fine town of Fort Finkel.  Everyone cheered again and the outlaws broke out into a celebratory square dance with the Mr. and Mrs. Holliday and the saloon girls!

The town didn’t immediately return to normal after that – there was still a lot of celebrating to do and visitors to entertain – but there were no more disturbances for the remainder of the evening.  All in all, the opening of the O.K. Carre was a success!

We threw one heckuva party, if I do say so myself (And by we, I am referring to the amazing Dancer’s Party Planning Committee).  As you just read, the evening’s entertainment was top-notch!  Karl and I were both a part of the skit that had been prepared by the clever dancers.  Karl was one of the incredibly talented musicians (He even provided live music for the dance-off!).  Me?  Well, I was the Miss Mabel Twinkle-Toes herself!  Sigh… It was one heckuva party and one epic adventure when east met west and past met present!

UPDATE: More photos!

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