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adventures of c&k: easter salvation

April 11, 2012

Easter is the celebration of the salvation of mankind, when Christ died on the cross for our sins and rose from the dead three days later.  This Easter – well Holy Saturday really – I was in serious need of extra salvation when Karl and I were running errands at Target.  My original list was one item long, but it slowly grew to seven or eight necessities.  A few of those necessities included my favorite Easter candies.  So after getting the important stuff (stockings, razors, allergy meds, etc.), Karl and I headed toward the colorful Easter aisles.  Something car related caught Karl’s attention on the opposite side of the main aisle.  He stopped to check it out, leaving me to brave the towering shelves of sugar alone.

I knew exactly what I was looking for: SweeTart Chicks, Ducks, & Bunnies, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Minis.  I was on a mission.  I found the Chicks, Ducks, & Bunnies immediately, as though drawn to them by an unseen force.  I picked up another bag of SweeTart Jelly Beans since they were right next to the Chicks, Ducks, & Bunnies.  Also nearby was a whole pile of Starburst Jelly Beans FavReds.  I figured an extra bag of those couldn’t hurt.

My eyes skipped happily along the rows of pastel colored bags filled with sugary goodness.  They stopped at the beautiful sight of Reese’s Pieces Eggs.  I snatched the last bag before anyone else in the aisle could notice their existence.  Except there wasn’t anyone else in the aisle.  My zeal for Easter Candy was beginning to overpower me.  I knew it was only a matter of time before I lost my ability to resist filling my basket to capacity.  I turned around and ran to find Karl.  He was still perusing the auto accessories.

“Karl!  Save me from myself!!!”  I begged.

Karl looked up.  “Save you from yourself?” he asked, laughing.  “What do you need saving from, babe?”

I explained my dwindling will-power.  “I knew I couldn’t stay there any longer by myself or I would buy the whole store!”

Karl laughed again.  “Well, were you done in the candy aisle?”

“Sort of… There was one more thing I was looking for…”

Karl put his arm around me and directed me back toward the aisle of doom.  I think he just wanted to see what would happen when my resistance failed.

“Oh, have you ever had those Nestle Butterfinger eggs?”  I asked.  “I love those things!”  And I began pointing out every delicious thing that was sweetly calling out to me.

“Oh, babe!  I’m rubbing off on you!”  Karl said gleefully.  He has a tendency to name every single food place he drives past when he reaches a certain point of hunger.

I groaned.  “Has it really come to that?  Am I that bad?”  I looked up at him with a most pathetic look on my face but I lost it as soon as I saw Karl’s pretend sympathetic face.

We made it to the end of the aisle without picking up another bag of candy, until we reached the Reese’s Minis that were waiting patiently for me to scoop them up.  Karl guided me through the other Easter aisles.  The sugar trance broke when we finally emerged.  “You did so well, babe!” Karl exclaimed.

“But it was touch-and-go, wasn’t it?  It’s been a long time since sugar had that kind of effect on me.  I wasn’t expecting it.  I’m so sorry.”

Karl just laughed.  “Don’t worry about it, babe.  I’m just glad I could help!”

“I never would have made it out of there without you.  Well, I would have made it out of there but I would have cleared out the entire candy section first!”  I shuddered at the thought.  “Thanks for saving me from myself!”

“Any time, my love!  Any time.”  Karl’s eyes lit up as we walked by the toy aisle…

And I prepared my saved self to save Karl from himself…

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