brain explosions & cousin kicking
“I just tagged you in a photo!” my cousin Kayte informed me when she answered my phone call yesterday. “I’m sitting outside with a cup of tea, reading Pride and Prejudice while the kids play on the swing set, and I thought ‘I’d love it if Cousin Ce was here to have tea with me and talk about the book!’ Since you aren’t here, I took a photo and posted it on Facebook!”
I had called Kayte because I knew she would diffuse the pending explosion in my brain. I have been quite peaceful regarding wedding plans and did my best to plan ahead so as to minimize pre-wedding stress. It worked well until last week. I think it was the combination of moving and last minute wedding details that finally did me in.
My life is completely unsettled. Karl moved into our new place, but I haven’t completely moved in yet (and won’t until the wedding). Still, we are preparing for my move, so some of my belongings are at the new place and the rest is waiting its turn at the current place. My room is chaos. I can’t really live because there is no room in my room in which I can go about my normal daily activities. I’m paralyzed until the next haul which won’t be for a few more days. Isn’t it obvious why my brain was threatening to explode? And don’t forget all of the planning, hiccups, and coordination surrounding the BIG DAY… It was only a matter of time. So I called Kate hoping she would calm me down, kick me in the pants, and tell me to get over myself, thus diffusing the emotional bomb.
It worked. Kayte kicked me in the pants as needed, but not before discussing our favorite books. As it happens, I am currently reading Persuasion. We laughed over the fact that we are both revisiting Jane Austen favorites. “I love re-reading my favorite books because it’s more of a relaxing read; they aren’t all-consuming like new books.” Kate said.
“I love reading them because there’s a comfort in knowing the characters already, in that familiarity. It’s like having a conversation with an old friend” was my explanation. Favorite books really are the best when your mind needs a break. Although I will admit sometimes it’s hard not to skip ahead to my favorite parts, which is kinda what I want to do in real life right now. I know “this too shall pass” and all of that, and it’s not like any of the wedding planning hiccups are major catastrophes, but I’m over it. I just want to be married to the man I love. No more planning, no more waiting, no more potential brain explosions. Just married.
I could have really used a relaxing cup of tea with my cousin last night, followed by a tall glass of wine. But I was grateful for what I did have: a great conversation with minimal cousin-kicking (and later, Karl’s seemingly endless source of patience). I’ll survive the next two and a half weeks, just as the lovely Anne Elliot survived a nine-years-and-a-half separation from the man she loved. After all, I have Karl’s love and support, along with my cousin and a fictional character friend’s help, to keep my brain from exploding.